Wherever I go there's always Sue,
There's always Sue and me.
Whatever I do she wants to do,
"What are you wanting today?" says Sue,
"Well that's very odd 'cos I do too"
"Let's do it together" says Sue, says she.
"Let's do it together" says Sue.

"What's sixty-nine? I said to Sue,
"Sixty what?" she said to me.
"Cunnilingus and fellatioo."
"Just what I thought myself" said Sue,
"It isn't an easy thing to do"
"But that's what it is" said Sue, said she,
"That's what it is" said Sue.

"Let's look at your bottom" I said to Sue,
"Yes, let's" said Sue to me.
I lifted her skirt and admired the view,
"Mmm, that's my bottom all right" said Sue,
"As soon as you stroked my cheeks I knew"
"That's what it is" said Sue, said she,
"That's what it is" said Sue.

"Let's spank your bottom" I said to Sue,
"All right" said Sue to me.
"I'm quite aroused" I said to Sue.
So I spanked her bottom a brisk tattoo,
Beautiful bottom: my organ grew.
"Mmm, that was heaven" said Sue, said she,
"It's always heaven with you."

So wherever I am, there's always Sue,
There's always Sue and Me.
"Who would I spank?" I said to Sue,
"If it wasn't for you?" and Sue said: "True,
It isn't much fun for one, but two
Can play together" says Sue, says she.
"That's how it is," says Sue.

Ollie Patbotham 24/7/09

The original:

Us Two

Wherever I am, there's always Pooh,
There's always Pooh and Me.
Whatever I do, he wants to do,
"Where are you going today?" says Pooh:
"Well, that's very odd 'cos I was too.
Let's go together," says Pooh, says he.
"Let's go together," says Pooh.

"What's twice eleven?" I said to Pooh.
("Twice what?" said Pooh to Me.)
"I think it ought to be twenty-two."
"Just what I think myself," said Pooh.
"It wasn't an easy sum to do,
But that's what it is," said Pooh, said he.
"That's what it is," said Pooh.

"Let's look for dragons," I said to Pooh.
"Yes, let's," said Pooh to Me.
We crossed the river and found a few-
"Yes, those are dragons all right," said Pooh.
"As soon as I saw their beaks I knew.
That's what they are," said Pooh, said he.
"That's what they are," said Pooh.

"Let's frighten the dragons," I said to Pooh.
"That's right," said Pooh to Me.
"I'm not afraid," I said to Pooh,
And I held his paw and I shouted "Shoo!
Silly old dragons!"- and off they flew.
"I wasn't afraid," said Pooh, said he,
"I'm never afraid with you."

So wherever I am, there's always Pooh,
There's always Pooh and Me.
"What would I do?" I said to Pooh,
"If it wasn't for you," and Pooh said: "True,
It isn't much fun for One, but Two,
Can stick together, says Pooh, says he.
"That's how it is," says Pooh.

From "Now we are six" by A.A. Milne 1882-1956